You are an Indian if

You know what's going to happen in every Hindi movie before it happensYou arrive one or two hours late to a party and think it's normal.Everyone in your family has pet names, which sound nowhere close to their real names.You are standing next to the two largest suitcases at the Airport.Your parents don't realize phone connections to foreign countries have improved in the last two decades, and still scream at the top of their lungs when making long distance calls.Your relatives alone could populate a small city.Everyone is a family friend.You eat onions with everything.You use chilli sauce instead of tomato ketchup.You secure your baggage with a rope.You're walking out of customs with your trolley at the airport and you see all twenty-five members of your family who have come to pick you up.You're parents would freak out if u wore a crop top baring ur midriff...but wearing a sari is perfectly acceptableYour parent are panicking if you aren't married when you turn 25Your mother measures wealth in gold and diamondsA horoscope must decide your wedding dateYou are sick and tired of answering questions about "the dot on the forehead"The second you pull out of someone's driveway, your parents start talking...about them.Your parents still tried to get you into places half-price saying you were 12 when you were really 15. You have a 40 lb. bag of rice in your pantryYou drive mostly Japanese cars.You've learned to keep bargaining even if the prices are rock bottom.Everyone thinks you're good at mathYour parents insist you marry within your race.You have to call just about all your parent's friends "Auntie and Uncle."You own a rice cooker or twoYour family owns butcher knives bigger than your head.

Everyone thinks you're "Indian" no matter what part of South Asia your ancestors were from.