Thursday, June 28, 2007

Wish from a Genie

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders. The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?" "I'll have the same," says the ostrich. A short time later the waitress returns with the order "That will be $9.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment. The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke." The ostrich says, "I'll have the same." Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change. This becomes routine until the two enter again. "The usual?" asks the waitress. "No! , this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad," says the man. "Same," says the ostrich. <>Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $32.62." Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table. The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?" "Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there." "That's brilliant!" says the waitres! s. "Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!" "That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man. The waitress asks, "What's with the ostrich?" The man sighs, pauses and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick with a big ass and long legs who agrees with everything I say."

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

THE HUSBAND STORE

A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE !There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch . . .. you maychoose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building! So, awoman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband . ...
On the first floor the sign on the door reads:Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.
The second floor sign reads:Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.
The third floor sign reads:Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking. "Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the ! Lord, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework. "Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor.
There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!Please send this to all men for a good laugh and to all the women who can handle the truth! Remember Greed is one of the seven deadly sins.You have to learn to be grateful for what you have to get more. When youare ungrateful you end up with nothing.